It means that, yes, I can generally tell your mood from one message.

It means that, yes, I will want to figure out what’s bothering you.

It means that, yes, while you sit there and give me either one-word or direct short responses; I will still stay by you rather than just give up.

Being a boyfriend to me is much different from being your boyfriend. Because being your boy means that you are my girl and while I will make it through all of the hard times with you don’t think I won’t get annoyed at the fact that you won’t just tell me what’s bothering you. I mean I like being a detective and all that but really lol just say what’s on your mind.

Waking up to hear that my hometown is suffering another shooting?

I just don’t know how to handle all of that. 12 dead and over 50 injured. Families, Children, Teens, Babies…

How sickening. It’s a terrible feeling having to wait on messages from old friends wondering if they are ever going to be able to send one back again.

She’s asleep on my arm right now, but rather than wake her I’ll just try to quietly press these keys with one hand.

You know for a while I have been trying to come up with something to write but I couldn’t really come up with a topic, so I just chose to write about what was on my mind. Which always seemed to be this red haired beauty curled up on the floor with me.

I don’t know how to really describe what I feel towards her. She’s become my best friend, my definition of “love & independent dependence”, as well as hope. I just had given up thinking that she could exist.

Yet somehow she’s here, resting comfortably like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I never go a day without being so thankful to be her companion. She made it to me as fast as she could and she had her share of bumps along the way.

Despite all of this, two souls who both had found no need for putting themselves through the tiring terrible effort of starting a relationship, decided to start a real relationship.

But it’s shown that it won’t be easy. We’ve seen what disagreements can be like. But we make it through them because regardless of how individually focused we can be we still want to be together.

I’m happy to be me, and I’m still so happy on my own.

But ever since I met her, I haven’t felt alone.

I think I’m learning where I get this “fast-passed romance” thing I do in relationships from. 

My Mom wants to bring my “girlfriend” with us for Christmas Vacation to the Bahamas.

I’m actually cool with it and the funny thing is that her, my girl, and I have talked about it, I just find it interesting to realize who I kind of got this optimism towards the future, regarding relationships, from. 

She’s a star in the sky,

The Ocean that shines so blue.

She’s a reason for the smile on my face,

It’s like she just walked in, pointed my way, and said “I choose you”.

My life has been good,

And she’s come to make it better.

I’m really feeling ready for us to be something…

Together.

It’s the way that she lights up when she see’s me. 

It’s how she let’s me take control in those first few seconds to let out how much I missed her being there through a kiss. 

It’s how her hands wrap so intricately within my own.

It’s the way she laughs when we’re together.

It’s the way she doesn’t let there be any distance between us whenever we sit together.

It’s how she makes me want to use the word together, but keep quiet about the words “future, us, relationship, and love”.

It’s how those words that I avoid are the ones that whenever said make me think about what her and I have the potential to be.

It’s how I feel about her that has me in this even higher state of living than I normally exist in.

It’s how we’ve been open, honest, and true to each other.

It’s amazing because she alone makes me remember what it’s like to feel like you’ve made the right choices to end up in a place you didn’t expect to be.

So I had a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day yesterday. It was full of merriment, shenanigans, and green booze. But now I am home, aching all over, and attempting to round up all of the various school related work that I have to do this week. I hope everyone else had a great day too. I got quite a surprise too.

The wonderful woman who seems to have me smitten, surprised me while I was standing in line at the bars. We were supposed to have gone on a date earlier in the day but she had decided not to text me (sad I know). Her reasoning for this? She likes me, a lot, and she is scared that if she gives in I won’t be around anymore. Now my phone had died earlier in the night, after my constant checking it to see if she had messaged me, which obviously killed my battery. So when she did work up the courage to shoot me a message I had no idea.

Thankfully I had sent a message to her best friend, the girl who is responsible for introducing us, about whether or not this girl was really interested in me or if I was pursuing a dream that would never be reality.

I can’t even describe how nice it is to know that I’m not the only one who may be a little bit “head over heels” in this situation. So when this friend of my enchantress (oh yeah, I went there) called my best friend to see where we were I was happy to go see her. She then told me that the “enchantress” is at so-and-so bar waiting to leave, and that if I am really so interested I should go and say hey. But I was already on my way when she told me where this beauty was.

So I’m standing in line with my friend Mike and the next thing I know, right at my side is this, just beautiful woman. I’m standing there with a smile while she talks to her friend, and then I tap her on the shoulder. Her smile made up for the fact that I hadn’t gotten to see her earlier that day. 

Because in the event that something happens to me I am leaving behind something to show that I was here. That I lived, I existed, and I thought. Each and every action held a purpose of my intentions. It is something that can hold things as powerful as the ones I physically carry with me without allowing full access into my life

My blog has become my carry around notebook. If you have been here for a while, I’m glad you have stayed. I promise it’s only just getting started. Of all the url’s I’ve had, none have meant more.

The Last Notebook, it’s just me, and I’m trying to fill these pages up.