I just remembered exactly why I came to tumblr and why my blog is named the way it is.

The Last Notebook,

I wanted to write, I needed to express myself in a world that doesn’t always allow for me to scream out my truth’s. But I wanted to see what it was like to write my thoughts to an audience of only people who actually might care to hear. Thank you all for making this experience so great and educational. I honestly don’t feel alone anymore and I feel as though I can be more me thanks to this.

I’m not “happy” about being single.
I’m happy we’ve broken the cycle we were in so that maybe we can actually work on being better together and actually enjoy our time together.

I’ve been avoiding saying the truth,
Because I know the truth will hurt.

I didn’t want it to go like this,
I wanted us to work.

But this doesn’t feel right,
When we talk we always fight.

I know I need to let go,
I just don’t know how to let you know.

I like my music how I like my women; with some classical influences.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.

I am becoming stressed,

more often than I care for.

My drive seems to be fading,

as the days continue cascading.

Writing is supposed to be my escape;

and writing is what has escaped me.”

It’s been a tiring year and I am so proud of myself for pushing through it. I am not at the end yet and that is okay. I have my notebooks and I’m clearing up my mind again so that I can live how I want to, “Straight Up Honesty, No Matter The Cost”. My writing teacher is pissing me off because I get low marks for not writing to please her. I choose topics that are controversial and interesting to me because I am given that choice, but because of the viewpoint I take she gets offended and marks me down without any substantial reason as to why my score is low.

Bitch Please.

She had the biggest eyes; they took all of me in.

There is no question about it. That love is where I begin.

And then there comes a time where you step back and see all that needs to be put aside.

All the things that are calling for you to grow become louder, and you can continue to run from them or you can stop and say, “I may not be ready, but I’m going to give my best,” because you’re ready to try. 

I have been going from 0 to pissed in no time flat lately.

I could attribute it to any number of things but that’s not what’s important. I need to calm down. I need to take control. I need to relax. I need to find enjoyment out of everyday life again…

But I really just want to graduate already, this place is stressful.